You know something? I do pretty well.
Now I DO struggle to say that here where other people might hear me because I was brought up to feel it’s wrong to think that. That even if you do well at something you should be looking at what you DIDN’T do well in order to improve on it next time.
But I’m exhausted doing that. And not very happy to be constantly looking at what I am doing wrong. Because there will always be things to find.
I’m not perfect – I forget birthdays, I say things without thinking, my house is a mess, my kids often have toast based dinners, I never exercise. My roses need deadheading, my loft is full of junk, I have friends I have meant to call for months, most nights I don’t manage to read to/with everyone that needs it…
But there are a lot of things I get right too.
So generally…I’m a great Mum. I’m a great friend. I’m a great photographer.
(see I said it!) (But it was hard – and I had to fight myself not to delete it/reword it!)
I’m not the best at any of these – but that’s ok. Who is??? I don’t want to feel bad all the time about the bits I mess up on. I should concentrate sometimes on the bits I get right.
Today I drove to pick my littlest two up from school . I took an Ipad for Gx so he could play on it while waiting for his friend to do netball club so he could go to his friend’s house and get a lift to drama class.
Meanwhile I drove the little two (with chocolate biscuits, drinks and a ball to play with) out to the other side of town to watch Sx in a school rugby match.
Then we rushed home and I got Sx dinner and had him change and got him to football practice all within 30 minutes. And I sat there getting eaten by midges as it turned dark, watching him do something he loves.
I didn’t have to do that – I could have told Sx it was too complex to come and watch him (I was the only Mum there so he wouldn’t have minded). I could have told hm it was too much of a rush to get him to football on the same evening and how on earth could I get dinner in time (the other boy who plays for both teams didn’t make it to football practice so he would have understood). But I wanted to do ALL I could. And I did. And I should feel proud of that.
(And the other children had to lose out a bit too – but they know that we will all do the same when its their turn to rush about and need a little extra. They see that effort come their way too and they all pull together)
I know a lot of Mums do this kind of thing – and I am not after some award. But sometimes being on my own with no partner and no job, I never have anyone to tell me I am doing ok. So I am telling myself….
I’m doing ok.
PS Despite my best efforts though at finding Sx’s black shorts and making sure they had his name in – he still managed to forget to pack them and had to borrow white shorts. And then he left his blazer at school. 😦